The Ship's Log O' the Festerin' Boil

Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket have been invited to spend Spring Break at the Annual Pirate Flogging Olympics and Sao Paulo Beach Volleyball Invitational Tournament for Outrageously Buxom Wenches of Questionable Morals, where once again we will be celebrity judges. For this reason, though we know how bitterly disappointed our loyal reader will be, we will be unable to post to the blog. The tournament officials have asked that we devote our entire attention, 24 hours a day, to the bikini-clad competitors to make absolutely certain there are no foot fouls.

The Pirate Tale Story will resume Monday, March 28, assuming none of the games go into overtime. (C'mon, gang. We've gone without a break for more than 2 months and almost 92,000 words!)

Can Slappista and Fanny make their stalemate work? Will Jezebel figure out what the power of the cave is? Will Juan get a chance to settle Slappista's hash once and for all? Will Slappy be able to get over the loss of his honey supply? And what's this "Lance" bullshit with Admiral Tharp? Stand by, because we might have the answers to those questions, or else we'll make up a bunch of other stuff and drag the story off into an entirely new direction. You never know with us. Coming next week.

Now we need our whistles and sunblock, because the first round of action is about to begin. Sweden versus Belize.