Saturday, August 07, 2004


Fish Heads

Ahoy there!
Time for Mad Sally's question of the day:

You've been out on the Festering Boil all day and the catch has been fine. When you come up portside, who would you rather have waiting for you on the dock to clean your fish? Prepare to describe the experience.

A) Orlando Bloom

B) Johnny Depp

C) Cher

D) Mama Cass

E) Cap'n Slappy

Scurvily yours,
Mad Sally

Cap'n Slappy! I'll bet he can gut a fish like nobody's business!!!!!
Ye bring up an interestin' series o' questions:

How do we know that any o' th' aforementioned characters actually know how t' gut an' filet fish? (I always trusted me dad t' properly filet anythin' we caught when fishin'...)

Since Mama Cass is long dead, I doubt she'd remember proper filetin' techniques. An' what would Cher wear t' clean fish? I mean, all those long, drapey sleeves would make a real mess.

I suspec' that both Johnny Depp an' Orlando Bloom have better (an' more profitable) things t' do wi' their time than clean fish. An' we all know that Cap'n Slappy is mighty fine wi' his pen, but I'm not sure that a filetin' knife could be called a sword...

So methinks me answer would be "None o' th' above!" Followed by, "Uh, what was th' question again? I believe my train o' thought got sidetracked..."

Yers confusedly,
Cap'n Mazeppa
Mr Depp of course!
Think pirates, think!
You have to do the math. Take the sexiest pirate, and divide him by an elf. Then, multiply it by a ham sandwich and three squared pi. Take into account the Sony Bono factor, and then cosine tangent a can of whoop ass and of course, the answer is: Cap'n Slappy.

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